​Winter’s persistent gloom – even as brief and mild as Southern California’s chilly season is – makes the coronavirus pandemic seem unending and insurmountable even as spring dawns.

​Maintaining a positive frame of mind feels impossible. We face continued health, economic, family, and emotional challenges, all made more difficult as we isolate, which itself can lead to depression, substance abuse, and even suicidal thoughts.

Still, there’s a light at the end of the proverbial tunnel. Restaurants, churches, and stores are opening. Once everyone is vaccinated, we look forward to a summer of family barbecues. There’s even travel on the horizon, as countries around the world successfully battle coronavirus.

Staying on Schedule
In facing the troubles wrought by COVID-19, health-care experts encourage us to maintain a consistent daily schedule of restful sleep, productive work hours, regular meditation and mindfulness breaks, steady movement and exercise, and dependable time off for family interaction, play with pets, and entertainment.

It’s helpful to integrate planning with positive thinking. Recalling bad times in our lives and remembering that we survived those challenges helps us to keep going.

It helps me to remember when I developed pneumonia as a newlywed. I was working a new and difficult job, we had very little money and inferior health insurance, so it was imperative that I recover quickly. In spite of a raft of different medications, I got sicker and sicker; getting from our bed to the living-room couch was a major accomplishment.

With grit and inner strength that I never knew I had, I somehow beat the odds and returned to work. That experience inspires me when I face seemingly insurmountable challenges: I recognize that my present difficulties won’t last forever.

Cultivating Mindfulness and Mental Health
Americans are world-renowned for our practicality, productivity, and industriousness. We are good at getting things done.

​In doing so, however, we often ignore the bedrock foundation of good mental health and its critical importance to functioning well in the pandemic.

Getting coronavirus is not the end of the story, even if it means hospitalization, ventilators, and brain fog. To cultivate strong mental acuity, then, is to rely on our well-planned schedule while living a life of fruitful activity, nurturing relationships, and unwavering self-reliance.

In our mindfulness, we recognize experts such as Dr. Anthony S. Fauci [chief medical advisor to President Joe Biden and director of the National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases] and follow their recommendations.
Living fully in the present moment forces us to smell the roses, literally and figuratively, taking time to breathe deeply and renew our focus on the here and now.

Positive Self-Care Eases Our Burdens
Being open about our feelings with trusted family members, friends, and spiritual advisors can lessen our fears and inspire hopefulness.

When we talk about what we are going through, the fear lessens and we begin to feel hopeful. In taking time for self-care, laughter, and myriad things that entertain us, we become more grateful, hopeful, and joyful.
While acknowledging our blessings, and the support of others, it’s critical to spend time caring for our physical beings. For me, that means an “Evening of Beauty,” including coloring my hair, head-to-toe cleansing and moisturizing, a relaxing facial, and a long, hot shower, perhaps followed by a luxurious, unrushed manicure/pedicure.

It may feel selfish to close the bedroom door, put on our favorite music, and indulge in the finest cologne, but those moments of connecting with our bodies center us. Encountering our physical selves can lead to more fruitfulness in our everyday lives, as we feel stronger and more confident.

Keep Moving
The coronavirus pandemic is the optimal time to focus on ourselves. It there’s a reward in our isolation, it may be our renewed dedication to a healthy lifestyle.

Our family members each enjoy at least an hour of outdoor exercise each day (when the weather cooperates). I take a challenging walk of during my hour of solitude, and intersperse my mornings and evenings with yoga and Tai Chi. My husband uses a home gym in our garage, where bees and birds often fly in to visit, and our daughter takes an afternoon stroll in the sunshine.

​Spiritual people correlate the concept of redemptive suffering – the idea that if we are bearing up to the crosses in our lives, we benefit from each uncomfortable moment.

This a cause for great hope: Our sacrifices – together with an ongoing commitment to exercise, unwavering focus on good nutrition, and dedication to excellent sleep hygiene – bear extraordinary fruit.

Developing a Positive Life Plan
Now that we are easing outside our homes, it’s essential to remain vigilant in our sound commitment to good mental and physical health.

Doing so means adhering to a reliable schedule, practicing positive self-care, cultivating mindfulness and good mental health, centering ourselves in prayer or meditation, and remaining consistent in rigorous movement and exercise.

Connecting with ourselves mentally, emotionally, and physically helps us create and maintain solidly healthy lives. Afflictions like the pandemic force us to either develop endurance or admit defeat.
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Surviving coronavirus proves our dedication, cultivates our character, and strengthens our resolve. Ultimately, that means we lead deeply fulfilling lives, inside and out.

​​After my Dad died and Mom decided to move to a senior living complex, we met to go through her things and determine what she would take to her apartment. Mom and Dad had enjoyed an idyllic retirement in their Anaheim Hills townhouse, but after 20 years it was time to move on to the next phase of Mom’s life.
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Downsizing involved dividing some family heirlooms, deciding what could be donated or sold, and relegating some things to the trash. It was such a painful process that at the end of the day we collapsed in the garage and cried together.
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Recently Mom celebrated her 89th birthday and, realizing she was unsteady on her feet, added her name to the waiting list for an apartment in the assisted-living wing of her complex. I was impressed that she took this step on her own after five years living independently.

During the long isolation enforced by the pandemic, Mom grew depressed and lost a significant amount of weight. When I saw her in person for the first time in months, I was shocked at her frailty.

So, even before we could set the wheels in motion for another move, Mom was rushed to the hospital with complications from congestive heart failure. Thankfully, she was transferred to the skilled-nursing wing of her facility after a week, and she remains there recovering steadily.

Wouldn’t you know that the perfect studio apartment would become available when Mom is unable to help prepare for the transition?

That leaves me – her only child – to pack up her things.

I’ve been in and out of her apartment over the past three weeks, going through her things, downsizing, and packing boxes. When the new unit is available, the complex will send a crew to move the few furnishings that will fit into the new apartment. The rest of her things will need to be divided among family members, donated to charity, or trashed.

Making decisions about what to leave behind is a lonely job. But it’s one that I’m growing to appreciate since I’m learning more about my dear mother as I go through the process.

Mom is a sweet lady who grew up in the Great Depression, so she keeps everything from plastic grocery store bags to promotional totes carefully folded and stored away. Her drawers, cabinets, and closets are meticulously organized. Clothing hangs neatly in the closet, organized by size, purpose, and color. Paperwork and financial information is clearly marked and filed in a tall cabinet. She makes my housekeeping look positively chaotic.

I love my mother and admire her strength, good humor, and positive attitude – especially as she acknowledges that age is limiting her abilities. I know how blessed I am to have my mother still with me as I near retirement age myself.

These days, I pray for patience and strength and resilience. I’m comforted by the obvious joy my parents had in each other and their international travels, friends, and especially their three grandchildren, who are now young adults.
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Facing the inevitable loss of a dear one always is painful. I treasure each day I have with Mom. I pray I will face my mortality with just a little of her grace.

***I wrote the above story earlier this month. Now that Mom’s move is complete, we are dealing with the aftermath of COVID-19 – brain fog, depression, frustration, and sadness. The continuing isolation Mom faces makes everything worse.

Mom got through the move OK but the new surroundings and the discovery that she is still very weak and requires a lot of assistance upsets her.

Between our family members, some of Mom’s longtime friends, and a team of caregivers, nurses, therapists, and the chaplain, we are addressing her new reality.

I wish I could say that it was easy or that each day I see improvement, but recovery isn’t simple and doesn’t occur in a straight line. Mom feels stronger since October, when she was first hospitalized with congestive heart failure, but she is always frustrated that she can’t do more to help herself.

I am learning the hard way that love is more than a bouquet of flowers or a nicely worded greeting card. Love gets in the trenches and is sweaty and sore with labor.

As St. Valentine’s Day approaches, I find myself often tired and short-tempered, but I know too that I am blessed to have Mom still with us. More than anything, I wish I could sit with her, hold her hand, and tell her that we love her.

She knows that. Separation is hard on all of us. I know she appreciates the FaceTime calls we do every Sunday. I’ll keep calling her and continue to do my caregiving from a distance, and I will lean on my family members during this difficult time.
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We are in it for the long haul, and love is paving the way.

​Entrepreneurship is being turned on its head as Millennials, Gen-Xers, and Boomers alike discover that the so-called “gig economy” works for them both personally and professionally.

Gone are the good old days when a worker was hired by a big corporation and retired 40 years later with a gold watch and a fat pension. 
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In contrast, many new graduates find jobs with startups, pursue their own businesses, piece together odd jobs and freelance gigs, and otherwise cobble together a living. Surprisingly, they are discovering that independent work suits them – and their bank accounts.

​What Does Success Look Like in the Gig Economy?
What motivates those who are successful in this new economy shift is different than the financial security and predictability our parents sought. Instead, a recent Harvard Business Review story notes that “people in the gig economy must pursue a different kind of success – one that comes from finding a balance between predictability and possibility, between viability (the promise of continued work) and vitality (feeling present, authentic, and alive in one’s work).”

Some of us were thrust into entrepreneurism against our will as cutbacks and layoffs dissolved our jobs. But many are thriving, which allows us to build our own environments, discover the routines that work best for us and our families, and do work that provides us with a sense of higher purpose.
A 2018 Gallup poll shows that 29 percent of U.S. workers are already gig entrepreneurs. Intuit expects those involved full-time in the gig economy to rise to 43 percent by next year.​

Born This Way?
Does one need to be a ‘born entrepreneur’ in order to thrive in this volatile, changing economy? The answer is no. If you aren’t born with the necessary qualities and habits, some can cultivate them in order to be successful as a freelancer.

Keeping a Schedule
According to the HRB story, “a growing body of research has shown that elite athletes, scientific geniuses, popular artists, and even everyday workers use routines to enhance focus and performance. The professionals we spoke with tend to rely on them in the same way.”

Dress for Success
Most freelancers and small-business owners I know say that dressing for the office – even if your office is like mine in the middle of the living room – is an important psychological step toward success. I own the fact that I sometimes meet writing deadlines wearing my robe and slippers, but those mornings are thankfully few.

Incorporating ‘Life’ into Work
I take breaks every half-hour or so to do a load of laundry, mop up the kitchen floor, or make a personal phone call. By paying attention to household details in the middle of the workday I am able to feel accomplished on two fronts. And, it breaks up the constant sitting that goes with working at a computer. 

Personal Care
Routines involving sleep, meditation, nutrition, or exercise “often have a ritual element that enhances people’s sense of order and control in uncertain circumstances,” HRB notes.

Purpose Begets Success
The Harvard story cites finding the purpose in one’s work as the most important thing that keeps gig economy entrepreneurs steady, focused, and inspired.

“A big distinction between successful independents and the ones who aren’t or go back [to corporate jobs] is getting to that place of knowing what you’re meant to do,” an executive coach told the publication. “That gives me resilience for the ups and downs. It gives me the strength to decline work that isn’t in alignment. It gives me a quality of authenticity and confidence that clients are drawn to. It’s helpful to building or maintaining the business and serving the people I am here to serve.”

Become a People Person
Whether it’s a role model, mentor, or colleague, we need to reach out to other people during our otherwise-lonely days of toiling in the gig economy. In fact, researchers warn of a “loneliness epidemic” hitting workplaces – something independent workers risk every day.
In my case, I try to ensure that I get to a networking event, attend a professional development course, or even meet a friend for lunch every week. Setting outside dates keeps me faithful to my deadlines so that I can carve out the time for socializing, and these appointments give me something to look forward to.

Significantly, it helps to have a spouse or partner as dedicated to your gig economy success as you are. I’m fortunate that my husband is my biggest cheerleader.
 
Benefits of the Gig Economy
Creativity, personal growth, and even productivity are some of the benefits flexible, unpredictable “gigs” can offer; confidence that we can set our own career course and achieve a level of financial freedom is another.

As HBR notes, “Many we spoke to believe they wouldn’t be able to find the same mental space or strength in a traditional workplace. Martha, the consultant who compared herself to a trapeze artist, recalled that she became ‘much more successful professionally’ and ‘much more comfortable in my identity personally’ when a trusted counselor helped her reframe — and own — her struggle, rather than seek ways to evade it. “’She helped me understand that I could think of myself, which I now do, as a pioneer,’ Martha told the publication. ‘I don’t fit in any categories that exist in organizations, and it’s more effective for me to be independent.’ “Seen this way, discomfort and uncertainty were not just tolerable but affirming — signs that she was just where she needed to be.”

Is the Entrepreneurial Life for you?
HRB said that the people they interviewed built their gig economy success by creating environments built “around place, routines, purpose, and people, which help them sustain productivity, endure their anxieties, and even turn those feelings into sources of creativity and growth.’

One consultant told the publication, “There’s a sense of confidence that comes from a career as a self-employed person. You can feel that no matter how bad it gets, I can overcome this. I can change it. I can operate more from a place of choice as opposed to a place of need.”

The Douglas family ended summertime by waging war with an obnoxious invasion of disgusting houseflies.

Christened the Terminator by our daughter as I stalked the flying invaders with my trusty swatter, I laid waste to the airborne army, leaving their broken bodies behind.

The horrifying houseflies were merely the latest incident in a summer fraught with horror. It was impossible to enjoy a summer break as we sweated through record-breaking heat and violent street protests, raging firefights and political scandals.

That doesn’t include the ongoing COVID-19 pandemic that has threatened, isolated, maimed, and even murdered many of us.

With the insect invasion, it felt to me like the serene sanctuary of our home was destroyed.

Finally, autumn has dawned with its cooler temperatures, cozy sweaters, and the promise of Pumpkin Spice Everything. I’ve happier than ever to see the seasons change.

Fall 2020 is a perfect time for reflection, a season ripe for giving thanks, for renewing our connections to God, our faith, and each other. What usually is a time full of frantic activity this year brings what feels like a unique opportunity for preparation, prayer, and introspection.

It’s a season most welcome as we prepare to give thanks and give gifts with hearts full of steadfast love and healing devotion. Perhaps as never before, we crave the comfort and warmth of the holiday season with its familiar customs, opportunities for festive fun, and the special love of our family and friends.

Halloween, of course, kicks off the holiday season. We won’t be welcoming trick-or-treaters to our doorstep, but I’ve promised to decorate, bake sugar cookies shaped like ghosts and pumpkins, and proceed with the holiday as usual.

​Whether or not we will be able to welcome members of our extended family to this year’s Thanksgiving celebration remains to be seen. Nevertheless, I plan to stuff the turkey, whip up a pumpkin pie, and polish the silver. I’ll air out the fine linens and get out the fancy china.

For once, my list of to-dos in preparation for the holidays – the checklist of chores, housework, cooking, baking, decorating, errands, gift-giving, and more – is welcome. I’m looking forward to the distractions.

Still, distractions won’t end the pain of separation and loss that so many of us are experiencing because of the coronavirus pandemic. Our grieving continues despite seasonal festivities.

Yet we know our loved ones are welcomed to the kingdom of everlasting life by our savior Jesus, whose resurrection from the dead fills us with everlasting hope, enduring patience, and deep fortitude.

We endure, then, and trudge forward into a new season on the calendar and a new season in our hearts. With God’s love surrounding us, we are fortified. We endure our losses. We find comfort in our ongoing blessings and our bittersweet memories.

I welcome autumn with open arms and an open heart.

Please join me in embracing joy as the leaves turn and the nights darken. Let us renew our dedication to love. Let us give thanks together, and join together in praise as one – if not in person then in spirit.
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God bless you.

As a baby boomer growing up in Orange County, I was well into my college career before my mostly white, middle-class bubble was pierced by the civil rights revolution.

Still, I was eager to learn about the world beyond my own comfortable universe. Idealistic 18-year-old journalism majors with dreams of becoming crusading investigative journalists welcome change.

During that time I broke away from my conservative family. I protested nukes, embraced ecology, marched for women’s rights, and was inspired when then-presidential candidate Jerry Brown spoke on campus, championing equality and access to higher education.

In years since I’ve worked as a newspaper reporter and editor, magazine editor, and public relations consultant – a career dedicated to the importance of truthful communication.

However enlightened I believe myself to be, however, I remain a privileged white woman – a fact that’s as true today as it was in my college years. These days – as if the raging coronavirus pandemic weren’t disturbing enough – police shootings and acts of civil disobedience are forcing us to reckon with issues of justice, inclusiveness, equity, and diversity in American society.

It’s increasingly apparent that, despite all my attempts to see things clearly, my whiteness and life of relative privilege blind me to some grim realities.

Interestingly, when preparing these materials, a high school friend recommended the recent bestseller “How to Be an Anti-Racist” to those of us who participate in a monthly Zoom call. It resonated deeply with the eight of us, something I find fascinating, since we are geographically, economically, and sociologically living quite different lives.

We’ve decided to discuss the issues the book raises in our newly formed book group. Another selection, “The Girl With the Louding Voice,” a wonderful tale of female empowerment from Nigeria, also is exposing us to diverse new voices and viewpoints.

I’m fortunate to be assigned timely, engaging work from enlightened clients that continue to educate me about microaggressions, inherent racism, and white fragility. You can read several examples of my work in this regard in my latest newsletter.

Even as a woman of a certain age, I’m awakening to my unconscious prejudices and failings when it comes to racial injustice – and I’m redoubling my commitment to voting, consuming, producing, and existing in ways that empower those living in the margins of American society.
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Today I’m seeking new opportunities to grow, develop, and change – even when they make me uncomfortable. As we contemplate a world full of new ‘normals,’ I invite you to join me in engaging in conversations on the important subjects of injustice, equality, and diversity – topics we once considered inappropriate and unapproachable.

​Minimalism, downsizing, and detachment are modern buzzwords, but they have an important place in our homes and businesses. And as we spend time homebound in the coronavirus pandemic, we treasure the peace provided by clean, orderly, uncluttered environments.

Cleanliness is Next to Godliness
Mission Viejo resident Jenny Cochrane notes that the motto of St. Benedict was “to pray is to work, to work is to pray,” and adds that “spring cleaning is a great time to pray!”

Each time we clean, we examine each thing in our house. We have the opportunity to treasure it or to lovingly relinquish it, as organizing expert and best-selling author Marie Kondo recommends. We can use this pause to reflect and be grateful for our loved ones, our homes, and our careers.

​In addition, as we clean out our closets and our homes, we can practice detachment from ‘things’ and promote our generosity to others. In speaking of detachment, St. Therese of Lisieux says, “There is no joy equal to that which is shared by the truly poor in spirit.”

Simplicity and Minimalism for Success
Simplicity, and the idea of owning less, is a key part of both good housekeeping and happiness, agrees North Carolina resident Marla Cilley, known affectionately to millions worldwide as the FLYLady.

“We all have too much stuff,” Cilley says. “I believe that clutter is the tool of the Evil One to separate us from our families. So many of us suffer from ‘can’t-have-anyone-over’ syndrome, because we have too much stuff – stuff on every flat surface and in every closet, under every bed and stuffed into every drawer.”

Cilley, whose FLYLady regimens are described on her website, flylady.net, bases her housekeeping system on baby steps that encourage families to clean ‘zones’ of their homes daily, thus avoiding huge spring and fall cleaning marathons.

FLYLady comes from the acronym for Finally Loving Yourself, Cilley explains. “What I realized was that I was beating myself up all the time. I was my own worst enemy,” she recalls. “When someone misses a day of housekeeping, I tell them to just jump right back in the next day. Don’t beat yourself up because you didn’t do things perfectly.”

Our homes function well and are welcoming when we create habitual patterns to handle the menial parts of life so that our tasks make our living space and our day more orderly. Summer provides us a breathing period in which to take a step back and ask where things have accumulated and what needs a little refreshing.

Still, Cilley notes, the first chapter in her best-selling book, “Sink Reflections,” [Amazon, $17] claims that those who follow her FLYLady system “will never have to spring-clean again.” By tackling each home zone in a systematic fashion, there’s no need to take all the furniture out of our homes and wash everything down as we bring each item in, which is what she remembers her mother doing when Cilley was a little girl.
 
“Mother would be yelling and screaming,” she recalls. “It wasn’t a fun thing to do. I’ve come up with ways to ensure you never have to put your children through that. Our daily routines become a ritual.”
 
Taming the Chaos of Clutter
 Prior to developing her system, Cilley says, “you couldn’t walk in our house. It was chaos. I decided my New Year’s resolution in 1999 was to get organized,” something that was difficult since both she and her husband were packrats.
 
“In our Southern tradition, we had the saying, ‘whatever you do on New Year’s Day you’ll do every day for the rest of the year,’” she explains. “I tried to figure out why I was never organized. I discovered that I’d never made organizing or cleaning a habit.”

As readers know, Cilley started with her kitchen sink. “It took two hours of chiseling to get it clean, but when I was finished it shone like a new penny.” Shining one’s sink thus became a key feature of her FLYLady system. “I created an avalanche of clean: My cabinets got cleaned, my oven was clean. And when your kitchen is clean you don’t mind getting in there and cooking. Keeping things organized has a snowball effect.”

When we clean and organize, we often tackle the jobs as quickly as possible. But these humbling activities are a service to our families and an important way we show that we love them. Perhaps most important for our work and our sanity, organizing, streamlining, and minimalism can free our workplaces and our minds of clutter – allowing us to focus on our top priorities for success.