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Grabbing the Brass Ring

8/20/2018

6 Comments

 
Picture
Striving for happiness is a constant challenge. It becomes nearly impossible when we face big changes at home or work.

Unless we set boundaries, unrelieved anxiety can fester into life-threatening health issues – not to mention problems with our spouses and families.

We’re all stressed out
I neglected the danger signs when my father passed away, my workload increased, and the demands of my job permeated my life. Tension and worry gave way to a major depression. Ultimately, I missed several weeks of work.
When you’re sweating to meet goals and deadlines, long hours are expected, and personal life is diminished. Your focus becomes success at any cost, and work becomes your life. If enough time passes, you begin to think that this is the New Normal.

Make life better
Gwen Moran, writing in Inc. Magazine, acknowledges the conundrum. “Into each life, some annoyances, obstacles, and misfortune will fall,” Moran says. “And while some self-help gurus will tell you to simply ditch what’s making you unhappy or holding you back, sometimes, it’s not that easy.”

In her story, “6 Tricks for Surviving Work and Personal Adversity,” Moran quotes Linda Hoopes, author of “Prosilience: Building Your Resilience for a Turbulent World.”

“Everybody has those constraints and situations that we don’t want to be in,” says Hoopes, a licensed clinical social worker and resilience expert. “Sometimes, you’re stuck with them for the time being. But there are things that you can do to make many situations better and cultivate greater resilience, even as you look for long-term solutions or resolutions.”

Small rewards can help
If your situation is long-lasting, it helps to pay special attention to your own comfort and relief.

That doesn’t mean an expensive weekend trip to a fancy spa. Ongoing self-care that helps relieve stress, promotes deep sleep, and offers a respite from your unrelenting pressures is optimal.

Commonly suggested remedies like long, hot baths with scented bubbles, facials, massages, yoga, exercise, and acupuncture really work. Taking an hour to read for pleasure, or sitting on your patio for a few minutes listening to birdsong, playing with your dog, or calling your best friend are small indulgences with big rewards.

Make lists
Break down your responsibilities, list them, and give each a priority. This will not only help keep you organized – it also will force you to focus on the things that matter rather than the self-critical voice in your head.
Is change possible?

Change what you can about your situation, advises Hoopes. “Even within a bad situation, you can make small changes to improve it and turn it into motivation to make bigger changes,” she notes. “You can look for opportunities to learn new skills, even in a job you hate. If you’re managing caretaking responsibilities, you might be able to enlist help from others to get some time for yourself. Think creatively about your situation and how you might be able to make small changes to improve it.”

Track your progress
Moran says one important way to combat job fatigue is to reframe your situation. Instead of complaining about what you cannot change, try listing the ways you have benefitted the company, the professional honors you’ve earned, or the ways you have grown professionally. Seeing yourself more objectively helps when the boss bears down.

6 Comments
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10/13/2018 10:34:56 pm

They say if you want something that bad, you have to grab them by the balls. I will never understand what that really meant. All I know is if you grab anyone's balls, that person can get a real serious fatal injury if you are not delicate. It will be very hard for that person to break free because he too would have been afraid of hurting himself. I guess that's what they meant. You have to get hold of someone in a way enough for them to be afraid of breaking free because they might die not really from you but from the process.

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7/26/2019 06:14:05 am

I sense there's something wrong. I can sense your sadness from here. I don't know why for some reason I feel we are deeply connected and we are able to communicate with each other even in the absence of words. Do you also wish you are here with me? Do you sometimes wish it's you I get to sit beside with everyday? Let me tell you this. I also feel the same way. I can sense your sadness from here and I am usually never wrong about things like these.

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11/10/2018 07:15:38 pm

Then you want something to achieve in life, there are two ways. Whether you go into the shortcut route or go thru the hard path and feels at ease at the end because everything was worth it. I guess being a workaholic at the young age paid off every time. It made me feel a less burden to my family, a more responsible one and being disciplined to buying behavior that I have. We do not need fancy materials around us.

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12/5/2018 02:07:12 pm

We are all stressed out. It can be the root of work loads, school works, working environment, peer you are into or many more. The danger of being stress is that we do things that we should not. We are being impulsive for the mean time and I guess that that is one of the biggest fear we have. We vent our anger and stress to others, but that is not good at all times. Everyone is stressed, it is just that we should practice to control our minds more than our emotions.

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3/9/2019 06:20:30 pm

The nature of life is really stressful, but we can lessen it by choosing things that we can temporarily be happy. When I graduated in my college, I made sure that the job that I will be in is going to make me happy. A happy workplace, a healthy working environment and a good boss will make your stay at the company longer. Aside from you are happy, you will not see the difference for yourself because you are quietly growing step-by-step. Small rewards for yourself is a must, most especially when you've done something great.

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4/3/2019 06:05:15 pm

One of the things that I am always praying for is a healthy working place. I imagine myself being in a work that lots of a toxic and I guess I would not dare try to belong in that position. Having a good and high salary is one of my considerations, but my main consideration is a good boss and a healthy working environment. I would not dare to harm my health just because of the stressful work I have.

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